Celebrating Joe Hyde, 1927-2007

My memories were formed during Joe's many trips to LA after Anne moved to Southern California in 1980. He would inevitably take over the kitchen and cook up a great meal while we played bridge until he would mix in. To review the bidding: Charles Gorn would rather have been a guest at his restaurant than his partner in bridge; but Joe was always cracking jokes, making everyone feeling welcome - mostly because he was enjoying being surrounded by friends and family. I'll miss those times, but Joe's lively spirit lives on in those of us he touched! - Blake Isaacson Blake Isaacson & Associates
In the spring of 2004 Bernie and I visited Joe while he was staying with Annie and Michael in Tarzana, California. We thought that an excursion up the coast to Santa Barbara with Joe would be fun, so off we went. Pictures of the trip are available via the photos link. However, one of the best pictures for both Bernie and me is the one not taken. We took a detour on the way up the coast and wound up driving by a series of strawberry fields. When we spotted a stand, we decided to stop. Joe of course, immediately asked if he could go pick some berries in the field, oxygen tank and all. The woman who was minding the stand said he couldn’t but that the berries had been picked just that morning. Well, we bought a flat of strawberries that looked like they were on steroids. Their delicious perfume filled the air in the car. As we continued on the journey we looked back to see Joe downing strawberries as fast as he could with juice running down his face, onto his clothes and even covering the oxygen tank. But what a look of pure joy on his face! We all enjoyed taking in the sights on that trip but the best part was visiting his sister Angie in the hills above the city. It was a really nice reunion and Joe enjoyed his time with her though he passed up the bright green, mystery elixir she served us when we arrived. We have many more stories like everyone who had the good luck to know and love Joe. It is impossible to underestimate the impact he had on us and everyone else he met. He leaves us with so very much to miss! We are incredibly grateful to Annie, Phil, Barry and their families and relatives for including us during this time of grief, sadness and celebration of the unique life that was Joe Hyde. He has left all of us with something special to hold onto. He will always have a piece of our hearts. With love to all, - Joyce Gavin & Bernie Doyle
Hi Annie, When we moved to Palisades, Joe was our caretaker and our champion. He introduced us to everyone, left beef stew at our door, invited us to dinner, chopped fire wood for us in our back yard and brought Oscar and crew over to plant bulbs. Somehow he knew that we were clueless about all this, and he took it upon himself to make it right for us. I still remember the phone call 13 years ago when he told me that he had the flower bulb catalog and was thinking of ordering bulbs for his garden, and did I want him to order some for me. I was thrilled and said yes that would be wonderful! I had no experience in gardening and welcomed the guidance. We talked about tulips, red white and blue/purple and that all sounded great, and I thought I had some time to think about it... But maybe two or three days later I got the call that the bulbs had arrived. I was surprised since I didn't even know he'd ordered them! So I asked "how many?" and he said "a lot." and that was it! The next day Joe arrived in the late afternoon with Oscar and company and they started digging up the yard. It was a massive effort that required Joe to cook black beans for everyone two nights in a row. He strung lights all over the yard so it looked like a movie set. I loved every minute. I remember him telling the men to dig "profondo." Mary Tiegreen
Dear Annie, Barry and Phil, Last Friday afternoon I decided to follow up on the sculpture Joe had in the show at the Garnerville Arts Center, just to make sure it didn't get lost. The woman there called me back and suggested I speak to a man named Frank Welles who had the piece. He was a pretty interesting character, and told me how upset he was to hear the news about Joe. He said that he apprenticed under Joe at a restaurant in Misquamicut in the 1950s when they were both very young, and seemed anxious to tell his stories about those days. Oddly, they lost track of each other, and he only found Joe when we sent in the images to the "Once a Tree" show that he had created and was jurying! It seems that he turned out to become an artist and wood carver! How strange! He seemed truly upset about missing the celebration and the opportunity to spend time with Joe. We think about Joe all the time, so many memories. He has left a hole here that no one else will ever fill. Thank you for doing the web site and sharing so many photos and memories. Much love, Mary Tiegreen
We had the pleasure of Joe's cooking & company on voyage to Key West aboard Steve Tilton's yacht "Lions Whelp" a few years ago, there were a lot of laughs & good times. However my first experience with Joe was back in Menemsha in the late 70's when swordfishing was slacking off and Joe decided to ask all the swordfish captains to bring in Blue Shark for steaks he was trying out in the restaurants on the Vineyard & Nantucket. I seem to remember this as a short lived experiment, something to do with abuse of the summer folk! Joe will be at sea with us this summer I'm sure! Best to all, Capt. Dave Thompson
Dear Gail, So sorry to hear the news. I still treasure his cookbook which sits on my A-list shelf and will, of course, never forget the shark dinner he prepared for us on the boat. I hope that you will have as many good memories to share in these weeks as we did last year as we all congregated after my father's passing away. They are always hard times, but also good times to be together to remember and reconnect. Our thoughts are with you. - Bonnie and Stephen Simon
I once returned to the US from Milan where I was living for a Christmas holiday, with an Italian chum in toe. We were all up at my sister Lydia's in Vermont for New Year's Eve. Joe made the migration north from Sneden's too, for he sensed a good party in the making. It was Paolo's (the Italian) very first trip to the US and everything was new for him. Around 6:00 pm that evening, Joe gestured to Paolo to come into Lydia's kitchen. It was the cocktail hour and Joe wanted to show Paolo "a very typical cocktail, which all Americans drink in the evening" which he was about to prepare. The blender was put out on the counter and Joe started feeding in ingredients. First came a little milk. Then some gin. Then he reached into Lydia's stone sink and plucked up some egg shells. Then came some coffee grounds. He reached down to the floor and scooped up some of the dog's food from a bowl. A little vermouth followed. Paolo was looking ever more aghast. But the real icing on the cake came next when Joe reached into his pocket and pulled out a $10 bill and put that too into the whirring concoction. Without missing a beat, Joe reached for a glass, poured himself a serving and proceeded to drink the entire contents. Needless to say, Paolo declined the offer to follow suit! - Alex (Ratcliff) Richardson
Dear Barry, Michael told me of your father’s death, and I am so, so sorry. The world is going to be a much duller place without his presence. I can’t think of anyone who made me laugh as hard as Joe did – especially when he was riffing on or with a French accent. I remember going over to the Loggia once when he was making a special birthday cake for a very big honcho, maybe at Time Inc. It was a Genoise, and it wasn’t going well -- there was a definite lopsided quality to it, and it was possibly a little denser than optimal. He gave it a bounce and said: “birthday cake, courtesy of U.S. Rubber.” Joe didn’t have the time or inclination to make another, so he cut the layers into quarters, piled them up and frosted them. We laughed ourselves silly at the thought of presenting this big cheese with a “quarter” of a cake – as if someone else had already had eaten the majority of it. But the payoff was that it was then written up in the magazine as an example of style and chic – which it was. It was typical of Joe to find a brilliant solution to a problem, which was also wildly funny, and then to have it recognized for the true style which was inherent in everything he did. And of course, I will never forget the wonderful job he did making the food for Alice’s wedding. I think people are still talking about it. It was real food -- not plastic banquet food, but delicious real food that tasted of what it was. I have always thought that is the finest kind of cooking, and that night we were treated to the best. It really exemplified his genius as a chef. Barry, my thoughts are with you and your family. I know it’s a sad time for you, and how painful it is to lose a parent. I hope you will rejoice in the good memories and laugh with all the funny stories that will keep Joe’s memory warmly alive for all of us who knew and cared for him. Love to you and Katie. - Oriel
Hi Annie – It was a really splendid farewell and sendoff for Joe on Saturday -- I bet he’s grumpy as anything to have had to miss it in person – though he was certainly there in spirit. It was wonderful to see how many people came – from so many places – and a pleasure to see old friends like the Starks and Bubbles Lalire. I told my Spanish class tonight about going to a funeral that was truly a celebration – a “fiesta” and they were amazed to think that it could have been that. But you all did a wonderful job of making it a celebration – he would have been so proud. I had a chance to look at the web site before the weekend, and I’ll be checking in again. It’s great – My thoughts are with all of you. - Oriel
Barry, from your cute response about the new Spite and Malice scores, I feel you have your Dad’s sense of humor and sensibilities. Hooooray for you. Kean and I stayed with him—at the very spur of the moment, when were were East a few summers ago looking for colleges for Kean. He couldn’t have been cuter or more welcoming, and I was actually happy for the situation which turned my visit into getting to see your Dad and Kean’s getting to meet him. She loved him and the funny signs around his house: she took pictures and told all of her friends about the toilet paper sign: Urgent: Single Ply. So, I’m happy to say that I think Kean has a lot of those zany hyde/’tonetti genes. The picture of your dad when he was young with the bow tie reminds me a lot of John. I’ve always thought that those two double cousins looked a alike and were a real mix of Hyde/Tonetti. Our best to you and your family—at this sad time—and also time to celebrate Joe. Hugs and love, Susan Tonetti
WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see; If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say. I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, and each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand, and said my place was ready in heaven far above, and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love. But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, for all life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for and so much yet to do, it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for awhile, I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized that this could never be, for emptiness and memories would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne, He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you". Today for life on earth is past but here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past. But you have been so faithful, so trusting, and so true. Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you’re free. So won't you take my hand and share my life with me? So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart. by: David M. Romano
Dear Barry, Philip and Annie, What an incredible celebration of Joe's life! And what a life it was! Thank you for bringing together so many people who loved him. It could not have been a more fitting tribute to such a special man. Part way through dinner, I went outside for a few minutes to watch the lunar eclipse, which was amazing, and I had the funniest feeling that it was Joe waving goodbye in a very grand style. We loved him so, and will always miss him. Much love, Mary Tiegreen
I was very lucky to attend many fabulous lunches and dinners Joe prepared for Jim Hayes in the conference room at FORTUNE magazine or at Jim’s home. Joe very sweetly shared his oft-used recipe for scallop pie with me, so I’ll make one this weekend in his memory. Every time I go to a used book sale I look for a copy of Time Love and Butter. Love to his family at this sad time. - Carol M. Ahlers
Here we are in Laguna beach California having a family reunion and thinking of Joe. Jocie remembers being 16 and working as a waitress for Joe at parties, sipping a little sherry and soaking up every moment of Joe's cooking so she could repeat it one day in her own kitchen. She also coveted Joe's wine glass -- it had broken off at the foot so he just stuck it in the potatoes or anything else he could impale. Sue remembers the honor of manning the broilers with the Creme Brule at a party for the Prince of Spain -- not a one burned. Trip remembers Joe almost setting the kitchen on fire at Judy and Tad's wedding with the Baked Alaska (there are quite a few Baked Alaska stories). Mom (Judy T) remembers that Joe was the only person she knows who could open with a "one no trump -- with a ten count". We love you Joe, you are in our hearts and stomachs for ever and tonight we tip our glasses to you and may even break off every stem. - Jocie Jones Watkins, Susan Tomkins Seidl, Ann (Trippy) Tomkins Baffert, Judy Tomkins
JOE!!!! You made things in Korea a lot easier by your sense of humor, and of course by your cooking, which kept us all from starving to death. May hosts of heavenly Angels sweep you up to Heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead. As far as I'm concerned you will never be dead, because so many people will continue to cherish your memory in our hearts. - Jim Carey via email
One very wet morning I was out on the end of the Machine & Marine pier in Vineyard Haven and I noticed a small outboard boat slowly approaching. It caught my attention because it looked like nobody was aboard. As it drew up to the pier I looked down into the boat and saw a figure recling on the floor, clad only in a large garbage bag, with his head resting on a couple of life jackets. After a closer look I realized it was Joe Hyde. "Where you hail from, Cap?" I asked, tongue in cheek (Joe and I were good friends.) "Connecticut." After uttering a few expletives, I made fast the boat and helped him up the ladder. Eventually the story of the voyage unfolded. He had indeed left from somewhere in Connecticut two days earlier, bound for the Vineyard (the boat was a 17 foot Sea Ox open boat I had sold him). He spent the first night in Point Judith, R.I., and the second day ran into thick fog and rain on his way to Cuttyhunk. As I remember, he had a compass but no other equipment or charts--there was nothing whatsoever in the boat but two gas tanks, a water bottle, life jackets and the compass. The compass was not mounted anywhere and Joe explained that he held it in his hands when he got into the fog. The garbage bag was apparently a purchase made in Point Judith, because it had started to rain that evening. Joe had no idea where he was in the fog, so rather than keep going he shut off the engine and drifted, awaiting better conditions. It was calm , and eventually he heard an engine. He slowly headed in the direction of the sound, shutting off his motor every few minutes to confirm his direction. When the noise was close he suddenly saw a big New Bedford dragger slowly towing a net. He approached the vessel and hollered, "Where am I?" Two men on deck stared at him but said nothing. "Can you tell me where we are?" he shouted. The men held out their arms and one yelled, "No speak English!" Joe made a sweeping motion with his arms. "Where the (expletive deleted) are we?" Then one of the crew pointed off into the fog and shouted, "Leper, leper!" Joe laughed and waved. "Okay, Okay." Joe took a compass bearing roughly in the direction the fellow had pointed and got under way, stopping every few minutes to listen. Soon he heard waves breaking and cautiously approached a beach. Following the shore a while, he saw that he was indeed on the coast of Penikese Island, site of a leper colony in the early 1900s. From there it was an easy run to Cuttyhunk . Joe spent a wet night in Cuttyhunk harbor and crossed Vineyard sound to Vineyard Haven in the rain the next morning. We will continue to cherish memories of Joeyde for all our days. -- Dan and Kyra West
Pure delight is the best way to describe taking a cooking class with Joe. A few years ago he generously offer a "guys only" Saturday morning class for some of the neighbors in Snedens. Two fond memories come to mind. His lathering a plucked chicken with butter was quite a sight. He just grabbed fistfuls of butter and rolled the bird around in his hands until it was glistening and ready for the roasting it deserved...at 500 degrees of course! He also shared a "chef's secret" with our group. Taking bunches of fresh spinach he clipped off the butt ends and sauteed them in butter with some salt and pepper. This would be "garbage" was transformed into a delicious little appetizer. Joe said this was common practice among great chefs. Nowadays, to keep my cholesterol in check, butter is not a big part of my diet. However, I had had enough to last a lifetime in those fabulous classes with Joe! - Ken Carbone
A Wee Joke! Barry and I played a wee practical joke with Joe a number of summers ago. Barry convinced Joe (and later Katie) that he was very good friends with Sean Connery. Barry proceeded to call up his Dad, who was staying with him at the time, and convinced him that Sean Connery was in the car and would he like to speak with him. Before Joe could comment, Sean Connery (aka: Weeman and SC imitator) had started to converse with a rather shy Joe. “What’s your favorite movie of mine?” “Not sure,” replied Joe. “Do you have a favorite Bond girl you like?” “Not sure," replied Joe. “I could set it up for you to meet one…” Joe’s reply was priceless. “Would she not be a little old!?” - Blair Leburn, Golf Digest Publications

My memories were formed during Joe's many trips to LA after Anne moved to Southern California in 1980. He would inevitably take over the kitchen and cook up a great meal while we played bridge until he would mix in.

To review the bidding: Charles Gorn would rather have been a guest at his restaurant than his partner in bridge; but Joe was always cracking jokes, making everyone feeling welcome - mostly because he was enjoying being surrounded by friends and family.

I'll miss those times, but Joe's lively spirit lives on in those of us he touched!

- Blake Isaacson
Blake Isaacson & Associates

In the spring of 2004 Bernie and I visited Joe while he was staying with Annie and Michael in Tarzana, California. We thought that an excursion up the coast to Santa Barbara with Joe would be fun, so off we went. Pictures of the trip are available via the photos link. However, one of the best pictures for both Bernie and me is the one not taken. We took a detour on the way up the coast and wound up driving by a series of strawberry fields. When we spotted a stand, we decided to stop. Joe of course, immediately asked if he could go pick some berries in the field, oxygen tank and all. The woman who was minding the stand said he couldn’t but that the berries had been picked just that morning. Well, we bought a flat of strawberries that looked like they were on steroids. Their delicious perfume filled the air in the car. As we continued on the journey we looked back to see Joe downing strawberries as fast as he could with juice running down his face, onto his clothes and even covering the oxygen tank. But what a look of pure joy on his face!

We all enjoyed taking in the sights on that trip but the best part was visiting his sister Angie in the hills above the city. It was a really nice reunion and Joe enjoyed his time with her though he passed up the bright green, mystery elixir she served us when we arrived.

We have many more stories like everyone who had the good luck to know and love Joe. It is impossible to underestimate the impact he had on us and everyone else he met. He leaves us with so very much to miss!

We are incredibly grateful to Annie, Phil, Barry and their families and relatives for including us during this time of grief, sadness and celebration of the unique life that was Joe Hyde. He has left all of us with something special to hold onto. He will always have a piece of our hearts. With love to all,

- Joyce Gavin & Bernie Doyle

Hi Annie,

When we moved to Palisades, Joe was our caretaker and our champion. He introduced us to everyone, left beef stew at our door, invited us to dinner, chopped fire wood for us in our back yard and brought Oscar and crew over to plant bulbs. Somehow he knew that we were clueless about all this, and he took it upon himself to make it right for us.

I still remember the phone call 13 years ago when he told me that he had the flower bulb catalog and was thinking of ordering bulbs for his garden, and did I want him to order some for me. I was thrilled and said yes that would be wonderful! I had no experience in gardening and welcomed the guidance. We talked about tulips, red white and blue/purple and that all sounded great, and I thought I had some time to think about it...

But maybe two or three days later I got the call that the bulbs had arrived. I was surprised since I didn't even know he'd ordered them! So I asked "how many?" and he said "a lot." and that was it! The next day Joe arrived in the late afternoon with Oscar and company and they started digging up the yard. It was a massive effort that required Joe to cook black beans for everyone two nights in a row. He strung lights all over the yard so it looked like a movie set. I loved every minute. I remember him telling the men to dig "profondo."

Mary Tiegreen

Dear Annie, Barry and Phil,

Last Friday afternoon I decided to follow up on the sculpture Joe had in the show at the Garnerville Arts Center, just to make sure it didn't get lost. The woman there called me back and suggested I speak to a man named Frank Welles who had the piece.

He was a pretty interesting character, and told me how upset he was to hear the news about Joe. He said that he apprenticed under Joe at a restaurant in Misquamicut in the 1950s when they were both very young, and seemed anxious to tell his stories about those days.

Oddly, they lost track of each other, and he only found Joe when we sent in the images to the "Once a Tree" show that he had created and was jurying! It seems that he turned out to become an artist and wood carver! How strange! He seemed truly upset about missing the celebration and the opportunity to spend time with Joe.

We think about Joe all the time, so many memories. He has left a hole here that no one else will ever fill. Thank you for doing the web site and sharing so many photos and memories.

Much love,

Mary Tiegreen

We had the pleasure of Joe's cooking & company on voyage to Key West aboard Steve Tilton's yacht "Lions Whelp" a few years ago, there were a lot of laughs & good times. However my first experience with Joe was back in Menemsha in the late 70's when swordfishing was slacking off and Joe decided to ask all the swordfish captains to bring in Blue Shark for steaks he was trying out in the restaurants on the Vineyard & Nantucket. I seem to remember this as a short lived experiment, something to do with abuse of the summer folk!

Joe will be at sea with us this summer I'm sure!

Best to all,

Capt. Dave Thompson

Dear Gail,

So sorry to hear the news. I still treasure his cookbook which sits on my A-list shelf and will, of course, never forget the shark dinner he prepared for us on the boat. I hope that you will have as many good memories to share in these weeks as we did last year as we all congregated after my father's passing away. They are always hard times, but also good times to be together to remember and reconnect. Our thoughts are with you.

- Bonnie and Stephen Simon

I once returned to the US from Milan where I was living for a Christmas holiday, with an Italian chum in toe. We were all up at my sister Lydia's in Vermont for New Year's Eve. Joe made the migration north from Sneden's too, for he sensed a good party in the making. It was Paolo's (the Italian) very first trip to the US and everything was new for him. Around 6:00 pm that evening, Joe gestured to Paolo to come into Lydia's kitchen. It was the cocktail hour and Joe wanted to show Paolo "a very typical cocktail, which all Americans drink in the evening" which he was about to prepare. The blender was put out on the counter and Joe started feeding in ingredients. First came a little milk. Then some gin. Then he reached into Lydia's stone sink and plucked up some egg shells. Then came some coffee grounds. He reached down to the floor and scooped up some of the dog's food from a bowl. A little vermouth followed. Paolo was looking ever more aghast. But the real icing on the cake came next when Joe reached into his pocket and pulled out a $10 bill and put that too into the whirring concoction. Without missing a beat, Joe reached for a glass, poured himself a serving and proceeded to drink the entire contents. Needless to say, Paolo declined the offer to follow suit!

- Alex (Ratcliff) Richardson

Dear Barry,

Michael told me of your father’s death, and I am so, so sorry. The world is going to be a much duller place without his presence. I can’t think of anyone who made me laugh as hard as Joe did – especially when he was riffing on or with a French accent. I remember going over to the Loggia once when he was making a special birthday cake for a very big honcho, maybe at Time Inc. It was a Genoise, and it wasn’t going well -- there was a definite lopsided quality to it, and it was possibly a little denser than optimal. He gave it a bounce and said: “birthday cake, courtesy of U.S. Rubber.” Joe didn’t have the time or inclination to make another, so he cut the layers into quarters, piled them up and frosted them. We laughed ourselves silly at the thought of presenting this big cheese with a “quarter” of a cake – as if someone else had already had eaten the majority of it. But the payoff was that it was then written up in the magazine as an example of style and chic – which it was. It was typical of Joe to find a brilliant solution to a problem, which was also wildly funny, and then to have it recognized for the true style which was inherent in everything he did.

And of course, I will never forget the wonderful job he did making the food for Alice’s wedding. I think people are still talking about it. It was real food -- not plastic banquet food, but delicious real food that tasted of what it was. I have always thought that is the finest kind of cooking, and that night we were treated to the best. It really exemplified his genius as a chef.

Barry, my thoughts are with you and your family. I know it’s a sad time for you, and how painful it is to lose a parent. I hope you will rejoice in the good memories and laugh with all the funny stories that will keep Joe’s memory warmly alive for all of us who knew and cared for him.

Love to you and Katie.

- Oriel

Hi Annie –

It was a really splendid farewell and sendoff for Joe on Saturday -- I bet he’s grumpy as anything to have had to miss it in person – though he was certainly there in spirit. It was wonderful to see how many people came – from so many places – and a pleasure to see old friends like the Starks and Bubbles Lalire. I told my Spanish class tonight about going to a funeral that was truly a celebration – a “fiesta” and they were amazed to think that it could have been that. But you all did a wonderful job of making it a celebration – he would have been so proud.

I had a chance to look at the web site before the weekend, and I’ll be checking in again. It’s great – My thoughts are with all of you.

- Oriel

Barry, from your cute response about the new Spite and Malice scores, I feel you have your Dad’s sense of humor and sensibilities. Hooooray for you. Kean and I stayed with him—at the very spur of the moment, when were were East a few summers ago looking for colleges for Kean. He couldn’t have been cuter or more welcoming, and I was actually happy for the situation which turned my visit into getting to see your Dad and Kean’s getting to meet him. She loved him and the funny signs around his house: she took pictures and told all of her friends about the toilet paper sign: Urgent: Single Ply. So, I’m happy to say that I think Kean has a lot of those zany hyde/’tonetti genes. The picture of your dad when he was young with the bow tie reminds me a lot of John. I’ve always thought that those two double cousins looked a alike and were a real mix of Hyde/Tonetti.

Our best to you and your family—at this sad time—and also time to celebrate Joe.

Hugs and love,

Susan Tonetti

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
and each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting, and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.
So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.

by: David M. Romano

Dear Barry, Philip and Annie,

What an incredible celebration of Joe's life! And what a life it was! Thank you for bringing together so many people who loved him. It could not have been a more fitting tribute to such a special man. Part way through dinner, I went outside for a few minutes to watch the lunar eclipse, which was amazing, and I had the funniest feeling that it was Joe waving goodbye in a very grand style. We loved him so, and will always miss him.

Much love,

Mary Tiegreen

I was very lucky to attend many fabulous lunches and dinners Joe prepared for Jim Hayes in the conference room at FORTUNE magazine or at Jim’s home. Joe very sweetly shared his oft-used recipe for scallop pie with me, so I’ll make one this weekend in his memory. Every time I go to a used book sale I look for a copy of Time Love and Butter. Love to his family at this sad time.

- Carol M. Ahlers

Here we are in Laguna beach California having a family reunion and thinking of Joe. Jocie remembers being 16 and working as a waitress for Joe at parties, sipping a little sherry and soaking up every moment of Joe's cooking so she could repeat it one day in her own kitchen. She also coveted Joe's wine glass -- it had broken off at the foot so he just stuck it in the potatoes or anything else he could impale. Sue remembers the honor of manning the broilers with the Creme Brule at a party for the Prince of Spain -- not a one burned. Trip remembers Joe almost setting the kitchen on fire at Judy and Tad's wedding with the Baked Alaska (there are quite a few Baked Alaska stories). Mom (Judy T) remembers that Joe was the only person she knows who could open with a "one no trump -- with a ten count". We love you Joe, you are in our hearts and stomachs for ever and tonight we tip our glasses to you and may even break off every stem.

- Jocie Jones Watkins, Susan Tomkins Seidl, Ann (Trippy) Tomkins Baffert, Judy Tomkins

JOE!!!! You made things in Korea a lot easier by your sense of humor, and of course by your cooking, which kept us all from starving to death. May hosts of heavenly Angels sweep you up to Heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead. As far as I'm concerned you will never be dead, because so many people will continue to cherish your memory in our hearts.

- Jim Carey via email

One very wet morning I was out on the end of the Machine & Marine pier in Vineyard Haven and I noticed a small outboard boat slowly approaching. It caught my attention because it looked like nobody was aboard. As it drew up to the pier I looked down into the boat and saw a figure recling on the floor, clad only in a large garbage bag, with his head resting on a couple of life jackets. After a closer look I realized it was Joe Hyde.

"Where you hail from, Cap?" I asked, tongue in cheek (Joe and I were good friends.)

"Connecticut."

After uttering a few expletives, I made fast the boat and helped him up the ladder.

Eventually the story of the voyage unfolded. He had indeed left from somewhere in Connecticut two days earlier, bound for the Vineyard (the boat was a 17 foot Sea Ox open boat I had sold him). He spent the first night in Point Judith, R.I., and the second day ran into thick fog and rain on his way to Cuttyhunk. As I remember, he had a compass but no other equipment or charts--there was nothing whatsoever in the boat but two gas tanks, a water bottle, life jackets and the compass. The compass was not mounted anywhere and Joe explained that he held it in his hands when he got into the fog.
The garbage bag was apparently a purchase made in Point Judith, because it had started to rain that evening.

Joe had no idea where he was in the fog, so rather than keep going he shut off the engine and drifted, awaiting better conditions. It was calm , and eventually he heard an engine. He slowly headed in the direction of the sound, shutting off his motor every few minutes to confirm his direction.
When the noise was close he suddenly saw a big New Bedford dragger slowly towing a net. He approached the vessel and hollered, "Where am I?"
Two men on deck stared at him but said nothing. "Can you tell me where we are?" he shouted. The men held out their arms and one yelled, "No speak English!" Joe made a sweeping motion with his arms. "Where the (expletive deleted) are we?" Then one of the crew pointed off into the fog and shouted, "Leper, leper!" Joe laughed and waved. "Okay, Okay."

Joe took a compass bearing roughly in the direction the fellow had pointed and got under way, stopping every few minutes to listen. Soon he heard waves breaking and cautiously approached a beach. Following the shore a while, he saw that he was indeed on the coast of Penikese Island, site of a leper colony in the early 1900s. From there it was an easy run to Cuttyhunk . Joe spent a wet night in Cuttyhunk harbor and crossed Vineyard sound to Vineyard Haven in the rain the next morning.

We will continue to cherish memories of Joeyde for all our days.

-- Dan and Kyra West

Pure delight is the best way to describe taking a cooking class with Joe. A few years ago he generously offer a "guys only" Saturday morning class for some of the neighbors in Snedens.

Two fond memories come to mind. His lathering a plucked chicken with butter was quite a sight. He just grabbed fistfuls of butter and rolled the bird around in his hands until it was glistening and ready for the roasting it deserved...at 500 degrees of course!

He also shared a "chef's secret" with our group. Taking bunches of fresh spinach he clipped off the butt ends and sauteed them in butter with some salt and pepper. This would be "garbage" was transformed into a delicious little appetizer. Joe said this was common practice among great chefs.

Nowadays, to keep my cholesterol in check, butter is not a big part of my diet. However, I had had enough to last a lifetime in those fabulous classes with Joe!

- Ken Carbone

A Wee Joke!

Barry and I played a wee practical joke with Joe a number of summers ago. Barry convinced Joe (and later Katie) that he was very good friends with Sean Connery. Barry proceeded to call up his Dad, who was staying with him at the time, and convinced him that Sean Connery was in the car and would he like to speak with him.

Before Joe could comment, Sean Connery (aka: Weeman and SC imitator) had started to converse with a rather shy Joe.

“What’s your favorite movie of mine?”

“Not sure,” replied Joe.

“Do you have a favorite Bond girl you like?”

“Not sure," replied Joe.

“I could set it up for you to meet one…”

Joe’s reply was priceless.

“Would she not be a little old!?”

- Blair Leburn, Golf Digest Publications